Chardonnay (California Mass-Produced)
Today, we travel to California wine country, and by that we mean nowhere in particular. California is a massive state. Were it a country, it would sit about 60th in size right between Iraq and Paraguay. A sizable portion of the state lays claim to being wine-producing. And, among white wine grapes in California, there is no question, Chardonnay is king. In fact, despite commanding a much lower price per bottle than the red wine, Cabernet Sauvignon, Chardonnay sales fall only about 1% short of Cabernet.
On this journey thus far, we've tasted a lot of really good wine. But, it's not easy to produce $2.5 billion of wine from one grape varietal in the US and make it all good. In fact, to produce the amounts needed to get to those levels, some has to be, shall we say, less refined. I'm not going to call out any wineries in particular, but many fit the bill. And, they know it. They are not in business to create great wine. They are in business to appeal to the masses. They want to make wine that goes down fast and easy, and makes the masses happy.
Before getting into the details, let's understand what constitutes a wine called Chardonnay in the US. 75% or more of the grapes in the wine must be Chardonnay grapes. That's it. There are no minimum or maximum alcohol requirements. There are no laws about aging in barrels or in bottle. And, there are certainly no requirements that it smell appealing or taste wonderful to me or to you.
How do they do it? While not all of these mass producers do it the same way, here is a simple formula that is tried and true. After the best Chardonnay grapes from a vineyard have been hand-picked and the somewhat mediocre ones have been machine-picked, grab all the rest in the most expeditious way possible. Combine them with an inexpensive white table group such as Thompson seedless. Use 3 parts Chardonnay to 1 part less expensive grape as that is 75%. Press the grapes and leave them in a massive, yet cheap vat, made of almost anything that wou't leak. Fill the vat with inexpensive oak chips, add cheap yeast, and ferment until the alcohol content is high enough. Bottle, add a cheap, cutesy label, likely a synthetic or a screw cap (this is not to demean screw caps as many of the best, mostly New World wines do use screw caps) and sell it.
Our wine today is unbalanced, and relatively high in alcohol. We can drink it cold or colder. On the nose, we get wood, lots of wood, and sometimes hints of drained motor oil. On the palate, we get yet more wood, some local fruit, some more wood, some local flowers, and some more wood. And, oh yes, it goes down easy. And, if you drink enough of it, the alcohol will get you feeling pretty tipsy. And, you get all this for way less cost than getting drunk from beer or whiskey.
You may notice that the morning after is not pleasant. So, late at night when you are satidying your food cravings, go with the hair of the dog that bit you.
That will give you the opportunity to pair your newfound favorite, or perhaps not with late-night fare. Start with eggs your way, crispy bacon, and of course, every ones late night favorite: get your hash browns scattered, smothered (onions), covered (American cheese), chunked (ham), diced (grilled tomatoes), peppered (jalapenos), capped (mushrooms), topped (Bert's chili and Jimmy Dean sausage), and country (sausage gravy).
Not all Chardonnay is made the same. Tomorrow, we return to more serious wine endeavors as we stay in California to enjoy some of the great Chardonnay of the state. We'll enjoy the scenery along the beautiful drives and understand what happens when the best winemakers of the area work with the most planted white grape in the world.
On this journey thus far, we've tasted a lot of really good wine. But, it's not easy to produce $2.5 billion of wine from one grape varietal in the US and make it all good. In fact, to produce the amounts needed to get to those levels, some has to be, shall we say, less refined. I'm not going to call out any wineries in particular, but many fit the bill. And, they know it. They are not in business to create great wine. They are in business to appeal to the masses. They want to make wine that goes down fast and easy, and makes the masses happy.
Before getting into the details, let's understand what constitutes a wine called Chardonnay in the US. 75% or more of the grapes in the wine must be Chardonnay grapes. That's it. There are no minimum or maximum alcohol requirements. There are no laws about aging in barrels or in bottle. And, there are certainly no requirements that it smell appealing or taste wonderful to me or to you.
How do they do it? While not all of these mass producers do it the same way, here is a simple formula that is tried and true. After the best Chardonnay grapes from a vineyard have been hand-picked and the somewhat mediocre ones have been machine-picked, grab all the rest in the most expeditious way possible. Combine them with an inexpensive white table group such as Thompson seedless. Use 3 parts Chardonnay to 1 part less expensive grape as that is 75%. Press the grapes and leave them in a massive, yet cheap vat, made of almost anything that wou't leak. Fill the vat with inexpensive oak chips, add cheap yeast, and ferment until the alcohol content is high enough. Bottle, add a cheap, cutesy label, likely a synthetic or a screw cap (this is not to demean screw caps as many of the best, mostly New World wines do use screw caps) and sell it.
Our wine today is unbalanced, and relatively high in alcohol. We can drink it cold or colder. On the nose, we get wood, lots of wood, and sometimes hints of drained motor oil. On the palate, we get yet more wood, some local fruit, some more wood, some local flowers, and some more wood. And, oh yes, it goes down easy. And, if you drink enough of it, the alcohol will get you feeling pretty tipsy. And, you get all this for way less cost than getting drunk from beer or whiskey.
You may notice that the morning after is not pleasant. So, late at night when you are satidying your food cravings, go with the hair of the dog that bit you.
That will give you the opportunity to pair your newfound favorite, or perhaps not with late-night fare. Start with eggs your way, crispy bacon, and of course, every ones late night favorite: get your hash browns scattered, smothered (onions), covered (American cheese), chunked (ham), diced (grilled tomatoes), peppered (jalapenos), capped (mushrooms), topped (Bert's chili and Jimmy Dean sausage), and country (sausage gravy).
Not all Chardonnay is made the same. Tomorrow, we return to more serious wine endeavors as we stay in California to enjoy some of the great Chardonnay of the state. We'll enjoy the scenery along the beautiful drives and understand what happens when the best winemakers of the area work with the most planted white grape in the world.
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